NEW YORK—as fast-food workers struck today, seeking higher wages, McDonald’s suggested that its minimum-wage employees “stretch their dollars further” by inventing a time machine, travelling back to 1926, and taking advantage of the “fantastic low prices” available almost one hundred years ago.
“Imagine buying a brand new suit—for only twenty dollars!” reads the “tip of the day” on McDonald’s internal website for employees. “Filling up? How does four cents per gallon sound?”
The website includes a sample household budget that “conclusively proves” that a minimum-wage salary of $290 per week is “more than enough” to support a family of four, “once you’ve managed to travel through a wormhole back to the Coolidge administration.”
The website was sketchy on details as to how it expected its workers to travel through time. It did, however, note that “it’s very possible that your future self, who already has access to time-travel technology, may be on its way to you at this very moment.”