16 Jul

NEW YORK—Anthony Weiner, the New York Congressman who resigned after texting explicit pictures of himself to young women around the country, is emerging as the all-but-certain choice to join the Romney ticket in the coming days, sources close to the campaign say.

“Rumors have been circulating for weeks that Weiner was planning a comeback, and we’ve all been waiting to see who Romney’s VP pick will be,” said Jerry Warmhog, Professor of Political Science at UNLV. “I’m just surprised none of us connected the dots earlier.”

Political commentators were surprised by the news. Not only did Weiner resign in disgrace barely twelve months ago after a humiliating scandal, but he is a Democrat, with a strong pro-choice voting record and a record of baiting Republicans.

Republicans shrugged off any concerns. “Sure, he’s not your standard Republican VP candidate,” said one senior campaign operative, speaking on conditions of anonymity. “But he complements Mitt in so many different ways: he’s young, he’s not Mormon, and we know what kind of underwear he prefers.”

Once again, the Obama camp was left scrambling to respond to Romney’s bold coup. Senior advisor David Plouffe called a hastily-assembled press conference to announce that shirtless photos of Joe Biden would be circulated to all takers over the coming weeks.

An announcement is expected within days. The only remaining obstacle is finding a suitable Republican to trade back to the Democrats to take Weiner’s place in the upcoming New York City mayoral election, as per the requirements of the 2003 Political Candidate Exchange Program Act. Rick Perry and Michelle Bachmann’s names have both been floated as contenders.

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