Controversy as Kansas Republican says Obama victory would be preferable to the total destruction of Earth

10 Sep

TOPEKA–controversy erupted in the Kansas Republican Party yesterday when, in response to a question from a TV interviewer, State Senator Dick Kelsey said that, if he had to choose, he would prefer an Obama victory to the complete destruction of the planet Earth and extinction of the human race.

Kelsey, a staunch pro-gun pro-life Republican, fell for the trap sprung by Bob Williams of NBC affiliate KSNT, who asked Kelsey, “if you knew a Romney victory would bring about the utter destruction of all humanity, with no chance of any survivors, and the disintegration of the planet, would that still be a better option than a victory by Barack Obama in November?” After trying for several minutes to evade the question, Senator Kelsey said that, “yes, perhaps an Obama victory and government-provided health care would be a less bad option for my family than their instant deaths.”

Reaction was swift and furious. “This is just the kind of RINO appeasement that gives the Republican Party a bad name,” said LuAnn Davies, chair of the Kansas Militia Ladies’ Auxiliary. “Sounds like Dick Kelsey should just switch parties and convert to Islam, if he loves Barack Obama so much.”

National Republican figures were no less angry. “With supporters like this, who needs enemies?” said Paul Ryan, when informed of the gaffe. “While I have no wish to see the earth crash into the sun, I think we can all agree it would be a lot better than a 4.6% increase in the top marginal tax rate for families making over $250,000 per year.”

Kelsey immediately tried to recant the statement, saying that he would immediately look into ways of destroying the planet in case of a Democratic victory in November, but most observers agreed that it was too little, too late.

“It’s just not Republican,” said Mitt Romney, asked about it at a campaign stop in Stilton Falls, Ohio. “When you think of great Republicans like Abraham Lincoln, Dwight Eisenhower, and Ronald Reagan, what do you think of? You think of bloodshot-eyed madmen refusing to exchange a civil word with their political opponents. That’s the kind of leadership America needs.”

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4 Responses to “Controversy as Kansas Republican says Obama victory would be preferable to the total destruction of Earth”

  1. Richard Daybell September 10, 2012 at 9:24 pm #

    Thank God for bloodshot-eyed madmen. Delicious post.

    Like

  2. sowellread September 12, 2012 at 1:28 am #

    I love your writing. There are so many Limbaugh listeners who would take this completely seriously. Probably the same people who fell for the Planned Parenthood Abortionplex spoof.

    Like

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  1. Controversy as Kansas Republican says Obama victory would be preferable to the total destruction of Earth « Goldmind - September 12, 2012

    […] Controversy as Kansas Republican says Obama victory would be preferable to the total destruction of …. Like this:LikeBe the first to like this. […]

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  2. Controversy as Kansas Republican says Obama victory would be preferable to the total destruction of Earth | digger666 - September 13, 2012

    […] Controversy as Kansas Republican says Obama victory would be preferable to the total destruction of …. Share this:TwitterFacebookDiggEmailPrintLike this:LikeBe the first to like this. This entry was posted in politics & world affairs, this life, us politics, western hemisphere, what am i doing here & what does it all mean? and tagged Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, paul ryan, world destruction. Bookmark the permalink. […]

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