Undecided voters frustrated by substantive policy discussions in debates

3 Oct

DENVER–a quick post-debate poll revealed that 71% of undecided voters found the nuanced discussions of policy differences to be “kind of long and boring,” while another 27% said they were “hoping for more zingers.”

In a debate that many found surprisingly substantive, covering the candidates’ different views on tax policy, health care, and the role of government, the general consensus among average Americans was that, in the words of several respondents, “wow, government stuff is actually pretty boring.”

“Look, I don’t know which guy I’d vote for,” said Brad Derbanshaw of Columbus, Ohio. “But if Obama wants my support, he needs to stop talking about math and arithmetic. What is this, school?”

Most Americans were no more impressed with Romney’s performance. “No punches, no racial innuendo,” said Sheila Bascomb of Winchapee, Florida. “Lots of logic, lots of fiddly little points about this or that. Where was the part where he called Obama a Muslim? This was totally pointless.”

Many survey respondents were angry about the repeated discussions of fiscal policy. “Come on,” said Rev. Thomas Winchell of Aurora, Colorado. “I get bored enough talking about money with my wife. I don’t want my president doing the same thing. He should mostly talk about taking back our country and opening up cans of whoop-ass on foreigners.”

Some blamed moderator Jim Lehrer, until recently employed as a replacement NFL referee, for not goading the candidates more. “I would have liked a little more smack talk from Lehrer,” said Rev. Winchell. “Or at least putting them up to an arm wrestle.”

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