Romney continues shift away from right, vowing to “lead workers and peasants in revolution”

COLUMBUS–after casting himself as a “severe conservative” in the Republican primaries, Mitt Romney today completed his shift away from the right, announcing that if elected he would “launch a proletarian revolution to destroy the plutocrats and their capitalist lackeys.”

In a speech before a capacity crowd here at Columbus Memorial Stadium, Romney vowed that “on Day One of my presidency, I will repeal Obamacare and replace it with a Leninist police state and reign of terror.” He also noted that Paul Ryan, formerly known for his plan to weaken Medicare significantly, was in full support of his plan to “replace free enterprise with a system of strict food rationing instituted by the state.”

While some Republicans were dismayed by the continued leftward shift in Romney’s language, one that began in his successful debate with President Obama, most were philosophical about the change.

“We all know the most important thing is to defeat Barack Obama and his so-called progressive agenda,” said Sen. Mitch McConnell (R–Ky). “If that means that we need to abolish money and send anyone owning two cars to a reeducation camp, well, then, that’s a small price to pay.”

Independent political analysts agreed it was a smart move on Romney’s part. “He had to move right to nail down the Republican nomination,” said veteran political observer Charlie Cook. “By coming back to the center, he can lock up the independent vote. And by continuing way past the center into High Maoism, he might even be competitive in Massachusetts.”