Obama claims historic mandate for change, as slightly less than half of America votes against him

7 Nov

CHICAGO—after a long, hard-fought campaign, Barack Obama today won a sweeping victory over Mitt Romney, as 51 out of every 100 Americans chose him for re-election, excluding non-citizens, children, and people who didn’t bother to vote.

“America has spoken tonight, and it has said that it slightly prefers me to Mitt Romney,” Obama told a raucous crowd here at his campaign headquarters. “This gives us license to enact a sweeping second-term agenda.”

If several thousand people in key states had felt differently, of course, “it would have been a massive repudiation of the Democratic party,” observed CNN anchor Anderson Cooper. “Instead, because of some hiccups in Romney’s get-out-the-vote operation and good weather in the Midwest, we can safely say that America is fully behind Barack Obama.”

Obama’s campaign team immediately began to shift back into governing mode, focused on finding the best possible people for senior appointments, drawn from the entire pool of wealthy Democratic donors.

Sources close to the President say that he is excited to get back to the work of running the government. “He knows he’s got a role to play, and he’s excited to play it,” said David Plouffe. “I mean, Congress isn’t going to alienate itself, you know?”

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