Election over, Americans lose all interest in the actual process of government

8 Nov

WASHINGTON, D.C.—just days after the 2012 presidential election, widely seen as the most important election in a generation, Americans have gotten bored with politics and moved on.

“I was a fierce Romney supporter, because I believe that an Obama victory will set us on a path to socialism and economic collapse,” explained Gladys Hamstropper of Quincy, IN. “But now that we’re done, I just don’t care any more. Whatever.”

A similar view was expressed by Dave McCormack, a college student who spent six months volunteering with the Obama campaign in Pittsburgh. “I gave everything I had to re-elect President Obama, because I believe he embodies the hopes and dreams of our generation,” explained McCormack, flipping between “The Voice” and a rerun of “Newhart.” When asked if he planned to get involved in any civic activities, or even read the newspaper in the future, he looked puzzled. “Why would I?”

As MSNBC anchor Rachel Maddow explained, “what happens next with the fiscal cliff, Iran, and immigration reform is absolutely critical. Unfortunately it’s all sort of subtle and boring, so I’m checking out for the next two years, until we have another nasty election to talk about.”

In other news, a panel Fox News experts made a compelling case today that Romney was ahead in the pre-election polls. “Nate Silver totally had it wrong,” said Karl Rove. “Those polls show Romney way ahead. Obama blew it.”

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