Scheduling mixup lands Grover Norquist on “Sesame Street”; America’s toddlers demand smaller government

6 Dec

NEW YORK–parents across the country were surprised yesterday to find their young children demanding their signatures on colorful, crayon-drawn copies of the Taxpayer Protection Pledge. The demands were the result of a PBS error that put Grover Norquist, the conservative anti-tax activist, on yesterday’s broadcast of “Sesame Street”, instead of Grover, the lovable, furry blue puppet.

“We need an across-the-board freeze on marginal tax rates and no credit reductions unless offset dollar-for-dollar,” said three-year-old Cooper Helms of Memphis, Tennessee. “Also, I could use some fresh underpants.”

Norquist was featured in a segment in which he and the Count were supposed to count a pile of ten apples. “I see where you’re headed with this,” said Norquist after the Count began. “But consider that if you’re in the top marginal tax bracket, the government is going to take three and a half of those apples, or almost four if we don’t pressure the White House to extend the Bush tax cuts by December 31.” The segment, originally scheduled for ninety seconds, ended up running for almost two and a half hours.

His successful appearance on Sesame Street was a bright spot for Norquist, who has been having a rough time in the adult world in recent weeks. On Saturday, Sen. Ron Johnson (R–WI) became the latest Republican to back away from the TPP, explaining that he thought he had been signing a promise never to use Pledge furniture polish. The previous day, Rep. Joe Barton (R–TX) said that he was talking about Oprah’s No Phone Zone Pledge not to use a cellphone while driving.

This is not the first conservative-activist mixup. Two years ago, General Mills unintentionally released Chris Chocola cereal, to the bitter disappointment of children who found only Club for Growth pamphlets inside.

One Response to “Scheduling mixup lands Grover Norquist on “Sesame Street”; America’s toddlers demand smaller government”

  1. PiedType December 6, 2012 at 6:40 pm #

    Obviously the schedulers thought any man who would call another man “poopy head” belonged on Sesame Street.


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