North Korea delays 2nd launch upon discovering rocket is made of tin cans, baking soda

10 Dec

PYONGYANG—just months after an embarrassing launch failure, North Korea announced yesterday that it would delay the second test of its new rocket, having recently discovered that the rocket was made entirely from tin cans and surplus Soviet chewing gum, powered by baking soda and vinegar.

 “We are still planning an imminent test of our Drown The Running Dog Capitalist Lackeys in a Sea of Their Own Blood Death Missile IV, which as you know is designed entirely for peaceful purposes,” said Dong Nam Paik, chairman of the Seoul Annihilation and Space Exploration Committee. “We will wait until we develop an even more powerful propulsion mechanism than the one my nine-year-old kid used to make a model volcano for the Dear Leader Science Fair.” Paik also noted that he was negotiating with the Belarussian government to reopen the Red October Gum Factory outside Minsk, which closed in 1979, so that they would have a source of spare parts. If successful, his son will be released from the re-education camp where he was sent after his volcano failed to erupt.

The delay marks the second setback for North Korea’s missile program this year. In April, a much-hyped test of an earlier missile design failed when the rocket flew straight upwards for sixty seconds, then turned south and defected to Seoul.

Dictator Kim Jong Un immediately ordered the punishment of those responsible and an investigation into what went wrong. His minions achieved both by requiring the rocket-program engineers to watch the romantic comedy “Failure to Launch,” starring Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew McConaughey.

One Response to “North Korea delays 2nd launch upon discovering rocket is made of tin cans, baking soda”

  1. fatherkane December 11, 2012 at 9:22 am #

    Reblogged this on The Last Of The Millenniums and commented:
    Not to far of the mark of what is really wrong.
    Great Satire!


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