Karl Rove admits that Romney’s path to victory is “quite narrow now”

7 Jan

NEW YORK–two months after his controversial election-night protest that Fox had been premature in declaring victory for Barack Obama, Karl Rove today admitted that “right now it looks unlikely that Mitt Romney will be elected president.”

As all election results have been certified and all electoral votes have been cast, most political observers agree that Obama has won the election. In a guest appearance on CNN today, however, Rove noted that while “Romney’s path to victory is quite narrow, there still is a path.”

Asked to explain, Rove noted that “constitutional committees could spontaneously form in all fifty states, revise their delegate and election procedures, appoint new electors, and disband, all before the inauguration.” He also raised the possibility that “super-powerful aliens could give us the secret of time travel, allowing Romney to go back to the second debate and not sound like such an idiot.”

Rove also alluded to “deep backup plans” in the Romney camp, “just in case” neither of the first two scenarios comes to pass. When pressed, Rove hinted that Romney might just be able to show up at the inauguration, sneak into the front row, and “take the oath of office when Barack isn’t looking.”

At the end of the CNN interview, Rove was helped from the set by two friendly doctors, all the while waving his arms and shouting that the 1960 Texas results still aren’t final, and that “Nixon is still in this thing.”

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