Republican Senator angry to learn that fiscal cliff is “just a metaphor”

6 Feb

WASHINGTON—Sen. James Inhofe (R—OK) held a news conference today in which he expressed his anger upon learning that the so-called fiscal cliff is in fact a metaphor, and that there is no actual cliff that he is in danger of falling off.

“Everyone’s been telling me for months that we’re going to go over the cliff, and we gotta do this, and we gotta do that,” said Inhofe. “I think it’s pretty reasonable to assume that with all this talk, that there really is a cliff out there somewhere.”

Inhofe went on to explain that his staff had told him in early January that the cliff was a metaphor, but that only in recent days had someone explained what a metaphor was. “I assumed it was a special type of cliff,” he fumed.

According to the Senator, the lack of any actual cliff has “really taken the edge off this whole thing.” In a follow-up interview, Inhofe told local station KFOR that “apparently it has something to do with money and stuff.”

Inhofe explained that, as a result, he wasn’t worried. “Most Americans, if they’re smart, put all their savings into CDs years ago,” he explained. “The sound is just crystal-clear.”

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2 Responses to “Republican Senator angry to learn that fiscal cliff is “just a metaphor””

  1. alienredqueen February 6, 2013 at 4:37 pm #

    Trust us. We’re all disappointed he won’t be going over a real cliff, too.

    Like

  2. lobotero February 7, 2013 at 1:51 pm #

    And they say these people are the brightest we have…..ya think if he spent more time doing his job and not running for re-election the country would be better off?

    Like

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