Post Office to stop delivering mail on Saturdays, weekdays

18 Feb

WASHINGTON–faced with looming financial catastrophe, the Post Office today announced that it was going to adjust its service standards, stopping all mail delivery on Saturdays and weekdays.

“Congress’s failure to replace me and my ineffective team with stronger managers has left me with no choice but to announce a slight change in our approach to delighting our customers,” said Postmaster General Patrick Donahoe. “I hope that by no longer delivering the mail, we will be able to preserve a strong Postal Service for decades to come.”

According to numbers released by the USPS, which lost $15.9 billion in 2012, stopping all mail delivery would “cut our annual losses in half.” Donahoe did make the caveat that “our projections assume Americans keep buying stamps at the same rate as today.”

Blame for the decline of the USPS is widely shared. In addition to the problems created by poor management, experts agree that government interference has been extremely unhelpful. For example, Congress required Saturday delivery, shut down the Post Office’s innovative online bill-payment service, and occasionally prank-calls Postmaster General Donahoe, asking if his refrigerator is running.

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