Benedict XVI ends papacy by landing on aircraft carrier; “Mission Accomplished”

27 Feb

ROME–as the papacy of Benedict XVI draws to a close, aides revealed that his final act would be to land on the USS Abraham Lincoln in an S-3B Viking jet, emerge in full flight gear, and give a speech from the deck of the aircraft carrier under a “Mission Accomplished” banner.

“I think we can all agree that His Holiness’s campaign to revive the Church has been completely successful,” said papal spokesman Giovanni Corelli. “Why not make a statement to that effect?”

Corelli noted that Benedict has successfully dealt with the church’s sex-abuse scandal, its money-laundering headaches, and the declining relevance of Catholicism in the developed world. “I can’t imagine how it could have gone any better,” he said.

Corelli said there were still some logistics issues to be worked out. “It is proving difficult to get a large-enough banner on short notice,” he said. “Let me know if you can think of a person who might have an old one lying around.”

3 Responses to “Benedict XVI ends papacy by landing on aircraft carrier; “Mission Accomplished””

  1. PiedType February 27, 2013 at 11:43 am #

    Don’t give him any ideas …


  2. Michael D. Kelleher February 27, 2013 at 1:41 pm #

    Well done. Thanks for the chuckle.


  3. Tom February 28, 2013 at 12:02 pm #

    What an incredibly apt parallel. Who would have thought the secular and the sacred would meet in an ineptness of such magnitude.


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