Republicans disappointed that sequester distracting from their focus on rape, domestic violence

4 Mar

WASHINGTON–as the sequester entered its fourth day today, Republicans expressed frustration that the budget dispute was stealing the spotlight from their core messages about rape and domestic violence.

“One thing we’ve learned in the last year is that creepy discussions about rape are big vote-winners for us,” said House Speaker John Boehner. “But just when we were having a great debate about whether violence against women is good or bad–bam! Along comes the sequester.”

After the House passed legislation to combat domestic and sexual violence against women last week, over the strident objections of many Republicans,* the sequester has dominated headlines.

“Sure, I’m all for limited government, blah, blah, blah,” said Ralph Reed. “But where are the headlines about vaginal ultrasounds? Legitimate rape? If we don’t stand for violating the privacy of women, what do we stand for?”

Aware of the discontent within his party, Boehner promised on the weekend to push compromise legislation that would require doctors to tell women seeking abortions about the need to cut entitlement spending.

* no, seriously

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