Putin critic Boris Berezovsky commits suicide in London; buries self in shallow grave

23 Mar

LONDON–Boris Berezovsky, the exiled Russian billionaire and critic of President Vladimir Putin, was found dead at his London estate today.

Local police confirmed that Berezovsky had committed suicide by beating himself to death, and then burned his own corpse and buried it in a shallow grave behind his house.

“Nothing suspicious about it,” said Scotland Yard’s David Johnson, speaking by phone from a private island in the Caribbean. “If I were to dare to criticize our beloved leader, Vladimir Vladimirovich, I would also be so ashamed as to take my own life.”

Friends said that Berezovsky had acted depressed in recent months. “Aside from his billions of dollars, his parade of young beautiful women, his cruising vacations in the Mediterranean, and his access to the highest levels of the country’s political, cultural, and economic elite, he had nothing to live for,” said one associate.

Berezovsky’s death follows the suicides of other Putin critics, including his close associate, Alexander Litvinenko, who injected himself with a rare radiation-based poison, and a journalist, Anna Politavskaya, who took out a contract on her own life. Said a Kremlin spokesman, “we need to get these people some help before more tragedies occur.”

One Response to “Putin critic Boris Berezovsky commits suicide in London; buries self in shallow grave”

  1. sophoxymoria March 23, 2013 at 8:48 pm #

    “nothing suspicious about it” LOL


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