Senate defeats gun-control bill; tells Obama to come back “when you’ve got another 300 dead kids”

18 Apr

WASHINGTON–in a stinging reversal, the Senate today voted down a major gun-control bill. Afterwards, Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R—Kentucky) told President Obama to come back “when you’ve got another 300 dead kids, and then we’ll talk.”

Pundits agreed that gun control had always been a long shot. “All they had was the support of 86% of American voters for expanded background checks, the full backing of the White House, and a majority in both houses of Congress,” said Bill O’Reilly. “As if that’s going to get you anywhere in Washington.”

The bill’s opponents, overwhelmingly Republicans, were defensive about charges of heartlessness, especially after Newtown survivors in the Senate gallery shouted “Shame on you!” after the vote. “Look, we’re not monsters,” said Kelly Ayotte (R—New Hampshire). “It’s just that twenty dead children isn’t enough. Now, if we had a couple of hundred—maybe even only one hundred—little kids in the morgue, then we might consider regulating gun sales on the internet, or something.”

Ayotte went on to explain that a number of factors led to her voting no on the bill, and that she was confident she’d made the right choice. “Listen, the next time we have a preventable massacre, and some seven-year-old girl is about to catch the last bullet from a high-capacity magazine, I hope she realizes that her death has helped protect me from a possible primary challenge in 2016. I imagine that would provide a lot of comfort.”

After the vote, President Obama held a news conference. Showing the hands-on leadership and mastery of the legislative process for which he is famous, he complained that it was hard to get things done in Washington, and that no one was listening to him.

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One Response to “Senate defeats gun-control bill; tells Obama to come back “when you’ve got another 300 dead kids””

  1. digger666 April 18, 2013 at 9:45 am #

    Reblogged this on digger666 and commented:
    With apologies to the inimitable Yogi Berra: It’s deja vu all over again…

    Like

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