Eric Cantor reveals preventative surgery for brain cancer

15 May

HOUSTON–in a moving speech, House Minority Whip Eric Cantor today revealed that he underwent preventative surgery a few years ago because of his family history of brain cancer.

“These are difficult decisions, and I don’t pretend to know what’s right for everyone,” said Cantor. He then lost his train of thought and spent several minutes staring directly at the sun. A moment later, he sponsored the 37th House vote to repeal Obamacare.

Although Cantor declined to offer specifics, he said that he had had “radical preventative surgery” to prevent an occurrence of the brain cancer that he had seen on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy and which “really scared the bejeezus out of me.” He didn’t give a date for the surgery, although experts noted that in February 2012 Cantor attempted to do a magic trick while being interviewed on Fox News.

“I feel great after the surgery,” said Cantor. “I’m going to recommend it to all my colleagues in the House.”

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