US military adopts new marketing campaign: “Maybe you won’t get sexually assaulted”

26 May

WASHINGTON–updating its recruiting efforts to stay in tune with the emerging Millennial generation, the US military has launched a new advertising campaign with the tagline “Maybe you won’t get sexually assaulted!”

A first series of ads, launched this weekend, show a group of mixed-gender soldiers preparing for a training mission. As they are about to leave, one of them asks the others, “Hey, should we go sexually assault someone first?” The other soldiers think about it for a moment, and then they decide not to.

“We’ve decided that the modern military needs a fresher look,” said Gen. Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. “We’re now emphasizing benefits such as computer training, character building, and the strong possibility you might get through your service without being groped, fondled, or raped.”

While some critics thought the new campaign failed to underline the military’s core purpose of fighting wars, instant polls of the target audience were popular. “Look, I’ve been thinking I might join the army,” said Tamara Braden of Louisville, KY. “If I can do that and have less than a fifty percent chance of being assaulted–well, sign me up right now.”

Dempsey said the campaign was conceived as the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan wind down, making the current tagline, “Shoot foreigners without legal consequences,” less relevant.

2 Responses to “US military adopts new marketing campaign: “Maybe you won’t get sexually assaulted””

  1. digger666 May 26, 2013 at 11:09 am #

    Reblogged this on digger666.


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