Booz Allen Hamilton offers NSA “Double Bonus Points” to make up for Snowden leak.

12 Jun

WASHINGTON—days after one of its employees revealed the existence of the top-secret, multi-billion-dollar Prism surveillance program, government contractor Booz Allen Hamilton offered to make it up to the NSA by offering it a book of coupons and an extension of its “Two-for-One Tuesdays” deal.

“We apologize for the poor customer service experience you received on June 9, 2013,” read a letter received by the NSA from Booz CEO Ralph Shrader. “To make it up to you, we would like to offer you two free movie tickets, redeemable at any Loews theater nationwide.”

Booz also offered the NSA extra points from its loyalty program, “Booz Bucks,” which can be redeemed for merchandise such as keychains and clock radios, or for the implementation of massive unconstitutional eavesdropping programs.

The NSA, while reportedly pleased to have received other merchandise such as Booz Allen Hamilton drinks coolers and stadium cushions, was equivocal as to whether the assortment of freebies was adequate compensation for Booz’s unveiling of perhaps the biggest secret the government currently has. “I think we’re going to ask them to make some changes to ensure their confidentiality procedures are just as tight as the government’s,” said Gen. Keith Alexander, head of the NSA. “For example, they might consider hiring Dave Petraeus as a consultant to tighten things up.”

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