Eliot Spitzer calls Anthony Weiner “rank amateur” philanderer

11 Jul

NEW YORK—entering the race for New York City comptroller, disgraced former governor Eliot Spitzer today lashed out at his comeback rival, disgraced former congressman Anthony Weiner.

“This guy knows absolutely nothing about tawdry behavior,” Spitzer said in a news conference. “Tweeting a photograph of your junk? With underwear on? Don’t make me laugh.”

Spitzer went on to spell out his own list of accomplishments. “Actual sex, for one. With prostitutes. Repeatedly. Those are the three pillars of really cheating, and Mr. Weiner doesn’t seem to have gotten around to any of them.”

Some voters were puzzled as to why Spitzer would attack Weiner, who is running in an entirely different race and thus not a rival. Irene Dortmund of Brooklyn, however, said she understood completely. “Weiner is blurring Spitzer’s story,” she explained. “Spitzer actually has a feel-good story about wrongdoing , redemption, and personal growth. Except there’s been no redemption of any kind, or any personal growth.”


3 Responses to “Eliot Spitzer calls Anthony Weiner “rank amateur” philanderer”

  1. digger666 July 12, 2013 at 4:39 am #

    Whatever Spitzer’s merits, do I detect a smidgeon of hypocrisy at work?


    • twissblog July 14, 2013 at 7:53 am #

      In Spitzer’s defense, he really really really really wants to be powerful and famous.


  2. digger666 July 12, 2013 at 4:41 am #

    Reblogged this on digger666.


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