GOP statement on Zimmerman verdict: “Thank God it is still legal to shoot black people in America.”

14 Jul

SANFORD, Florida—minutes after George Zimmerman was acquitted of murdering Trayvon Martin, the Republican Party issued a statement celebrating the fact that “our Second Amendment right to stalk and kill black people is still intact.”

“Did George Zimmerman shoot that Negro boy? Sure, he did,” said former Rep. Connie Mack IV. “What is that, illegal?” Mack went on to point out that because of the “liberal media,” Zimmerman had been without his “favorite gun” for months now.

RNC chairman Reince Priebus, answering questions at a press conference, noted that a guilty verdict would have “raised the specter of white people across the country going to jail just for shooting blacks.” Added Priebus, “if the courts can criminalize killing someone like this Martin kid, what’s next? Allowing unfettered access to the ballot box? Legalized interracial dating?”

Members of the jury, in post-trial interviews, explained that they believed Zimmerman had acted in self-defense. “I mean, what was he supposed to do in that situation?” said one juror. “Not follow Martin, get out of the car, start yelling at him, and then pull the trigger?”

If he had been convicted of first-degree murder, under Florida law, Zimmerman would have faced thirty days in jail, a $500 fine, or both.

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