LONDON–in an event being described as the biggest news story of the year, an English woman had a healthy baby son today.
“I’m just so excited,” sobbed Angela Midriff, 23, a dental hygienist who was among the delirious crowds that poured out onto the streets as the news broke. “It just proves that we’re back, you know?”
According to many onlookers, sixty or seventy years from now, after virtually all of today’s adult population is dead, the baby will have a ceremonial role with no meaningful impact on anyone’s life.
The British tabloid press is offering millions of pounds in the hopes of securing the first photos of the baby. According to industry insiders, it is expected to look like a baby.
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