Obama promises to create “additional meaningless hair-splitting” to address surveillance concerns

10 Aug

WASHINGTON–seeking to dampen criticism over the government’s vastly expanded surveillance program, President Obama today pledged that his administration will “add as much bureaucratic complexity” to the system as is necessary “to make you folks feel okay about letting us do whatever we want.”

Specifically, Obama promised “another layer of toothless review” before wiretapping requests are approved. Under the new system, any government entity seeking data will have to engage in a “fair, open, and transparent process that I can’t describe because it’s completely secret.”

Obama also promised that “we will never, ever look at the contents of emails that American citizens send to each other within the country, unless we have a court order, have reason to believe there is a connection to terrorism, or are just kind of bored.”

“I think it’s important for Americans to have this debate,” said the president. “That’s why my administration kept the very existence of this program secret for as long as we possibly could.”


One Response to “Obama promises to create “additional meaningless hair-splitting” to address surveillance concerns”

  1. B .H . Obama owns the magic wand.


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