Brave Congress stands up to cowardly voters

30 Sep

WASHINGTON—declaring “this is no time for retreat,” Congressional leaders today took a courageous stand against the “pusillanimous public” who don’t want to shut down the government because of ObamaCare.

“It’s time Washington, DC, listened to what the American people are saying,” said Sen. Ted Cruz, haranguing a confused barista at the Starbucks on Wisconsin Avenue. “Except for the majority of them that voted for Barack Obama, of course.”

Over the weekend, the House and the Senate continued on their collision course. At press time, the Senate was still reportedly refusing to accept the House’s compromise budget, under which the government would keep operating in exchange for a one-year delay in health-care reform, a reduction in the top income-tax rate, and the right of every red-blooded American to slap Barack Obama in the face and call him a Communist.

The Senate was not scheduled to act on a budget bill until Monday afternoon, when Ted Cruz plans to complete his marathon nineteen-hour breakfast order at the Capitol Hill IHOP, which follows closely upon the heels of his eleven-hour explanation of the Cowboys’ run defense on Sunday.

One Response to “Brave Congress stands up to cowardly voters”

  1. Agent 54 September 30, 2013 at 9:24 am #

    I am the “Uncle Tim” who was accused of destroying Obamacare by the President because I watch Fox News too much. In fact, I have a Fox News coffee mug that I drink out of while watching Fox News.


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