Governments of North Korea, Somalia , Syria, Turkmenistan, Equatorial Guinea, Afghanistan all still open

11 Oct

PYONGYANG—the government of North Korea, widely cited as among the world’s most oppressive and dysfunctional, remained open for business today, local media sources confirmed.

“Everyone’s here,” confirmed a spokesman for the Ministry of Budget and Thought Control. “All offices functioning normally,” he added, before asking if he could eat the glue holding together a reporter’s notebook.

In war-torn Mogadishu, the Somali government, which holds authority only in a few blocks in the center of the warlord-run city, continued to pay its bills. Offices were open, staffed by all remaining civil servants who have not moved to the coast to become pirates.

In genocide-wracked Syria, the government recently passed its fiscal year 2013-14 budget, supported by the remaining members of parliament who have not been murdered or left to command ethnic-cleansing military detachments.

Lastly, President Teodoro Obiang Nguema Mbasogo of Equatorial Guinea, widely regarded as one of the most repressive and murderous dictators in the world, who has embezzled more than $600m from the state and has been accused of cannibalism, confirmed to a reporter than his government remained open for business and was continuing to pay its debts.

“Of course the government is open,” said Obiang, seemingly puzzled by the question. “What is this, a restaurant? What kind of amateurs would shut down a government?”

Spokesmen for the United States Congress and the White House were unavailable for comment.

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