Toronto legalizes medical crack

7 Nov

TORONTO–Mayor Rob Ford proudly announced today that this city will become the first in the world to legalize smoking crack for medicinal purposes.

“No longer will this healing substance be forced underground by ignorance and fear,” said Ford, speaking extremely rapidly from a prepared text. “It’s time we gave the people of Toronto an opportunity to control choices around their own health.”

According to the mayor’s office, crack can be used to treat a wide variety of ailments, including boredom, ennui, despair, and concerns over one’s own political future.

Advertisements

Tags: , , , , ,

2 Responses to “Toronto legalizes medical crack”

  1. Anonymous November 7, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

    The Google servers are maxed out while people search for the definition of “ennui”. He will definitely get re-elected, look at Marion Barry… they love that guy!

    Like

    Reply
  2. Anonymous November 7, 2013 at 5:37 pm #

    The Google servers are maxed out while 1,442 people search for the definition of “ennui”. He will definitely get re-elected, look at Marion Barry… they love that guy!

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: