Obama pledges to consider, then reject, limits on domestic spying

20 Dec

WASHINGTON–in a far-reaching concession to critics of the NSA’s wide-ranging domestic surveillance program, President Obama today promised that he would “seriously scrutinize” options to limit such eavesdropping, and then decide not to.

“Law-abiding Americans should be able to feel confident that the government is not listening in on their private conversations,” said Obama at a press conference. “That’s why I’d like you guys to forget you ever learned any of this stuff.”

Obama then held up a small black cylinder and told he journalists to “look directly into the lens” before an aide whispered in his ear and he put it away.

Obama then went on to state that “no one takes your privacy more seriously than I do,” which is why “we keep all your passwords safely locked up on a hard drive under my bed.”

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