Growing optimism at Syria peace talks that Justin Bieber “will learn from DUI”

24 Jan

GENEVA–after a contentious start, the Syrian peace talks here grew significantly more optimistic yesterday, with negotiators from both the government and the opposition hopeful that Justin Bieber “will take the right lessons from his DUI arrest” and straighten his ways, according to one participant.

While there has been no movement on the underlying issues fueling the Syrian civil war, including ethnic and religious strife that has led to more than 100,000 deaths, there was nonetheless growing confidence that “Bieber is just starting the next phase of his career,” in the words of opposition commander Ibrahim Salwaar.

Government officials shared this view. President Bashar Assad noted in a tweet that “Justin #Bieber will use DUI 2 learn and grow 4eva #secondchances,” although he also then warned that his army would create a “sea of blood” in fighting outside Aleppo.

“Look, at the end of the day, we’re united by our common humanity, and the desire to see Justin stay on the straight and narrow,” said Secretary of State John Kerry, sporting a new Bieber-inspired haircut. “This can only be good news.”

Advertisements

2 Responses to “Growing optimism at Syria peace talks that Justin Bieber “will learn from DUI””

  1. Lester Beaver January 24, 2014 at 5:36 pm #

    Ah, so that’s why Justin’s DUI arrest is all over the news…I knew it had to be important somehow!

    Like

  2. PiedType January 24, 2014 at 6:10 pm #

    LOL’d at the mere suggestion of Kerry in a Bieber haircut!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: