Facebook buys some dude with a fax machine for $146 billion

20 Feb

MENLO PARK, CA—shocking the tech world with another bold acquisition, Facebook today acquired SuperChat, a startup described on its web page as “some dude with a fax machine” who creates doodles and then faxes them to random numbers around the world.

“SuperChat is the logical next step in our strategy of overpaying for tiny businesses with no revenue,” said Mark Zuckerberg in a statement. “Let no one question our commitment to enabling pointless time-wasting communications between strangers.”

The founder and sole employee of SuperChat, fourteen-year-old Mike McDermott of Mountain View, CA, seemed to take the deal with equanimity.

“I’ve been doing this for literally weeks, and I expect to keep doing it for weeks longer,” said McDermott. “Having enough money to build a supervillain secret-volcano lair doesn’t really change anything, except for the fact that I’ll have a supervillain secret-volcano lair.”

Analysts applauded the move. “One thing we know in the social-media space is that you have to keep moving,” said a report from UBS. “Random, value-destroying acquisitions show that Facebook isn’t going to get stale any time soon.”

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