Obama rules out thermonuclear strike on Russia; GOP blasts him as weak

6 Mar

WASHINGTON–Republican criticism of President Obama’s foreign policy mounted even higher today when he ruled out launching a massive thermonuclear strike on Russia in response to its intervention in Crimea.

“This continues the pattern of weakness we’ve been seeing for years,” said Sen. John McCain (R–AZ). “Blah, blah, sanctions, blah, drone strikes, blah, massive tank armies sweeping across the steppe, blah, blah, blah. Where’s the action?”

According to McCain, the appropriate response to Russian provocations should be “at a minimum” a massive thermonuclear strike designed to kill tens of millions of people and cripple Europe for generations. “Then the few mutant survivors, crawling out of their holes decades from now, will know that these colors don’t run,” he said.

Separately, a number of prominent Republicans expressed their hope that Obama’s policies would lead to a terrible national security outcome and resulting political gains for the GOP. “Ideally we could even get a major terrorist attack,” said Sen. Mitch McConnell (R–KY). “But I don’t want to get overconfident.”

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