Citing Crimea precedent, Mexico re-annexes Texas

19 Mar

MEXICO CITY–citing Russia’s annexation of Ukraine and the passive response of the West, Mexico today announced that it was “righting a historic wrong” and reclaiming Texas.

“Vladimir Putin has correctly noted that mistakes from long ago can and should be corrected,” said Enrique Sauza, a spokesman for Mexico’s Foreign Ministry. “We look forward to welcoming our brothers back to the nation.”

Texas residents voted overwhelmingly to secede from the United States over the weekend. Some questioned the validity of the referendum, given the heavy presence of Mexican soldiers in the state, but Sauza was dismissive of such concerns, saying that the soldiers were all on vacation, and were wearing their combat fatigues due to unspecified “laundry issues.”

The White House issued a strongly worded statement in which it warned the Mexican government that the US would consider all options in response, “up to and including issuing a strongly worded statement.”

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3 Responses to “Citing Crimea precedent, Mexico re-annexes Texas”

  1. PiedType March 19, 2014 at 11:33 am #

    Hey, don’t go giving anyone any ideas …

    Like

  2. Tomás March 19, 2014 at 11:36 am #

    The President of Kenya has decided to annex the whole world given the first indication of homo sapien life (Lucy) was found in its territory…

    Like

    • twissblog March 19, 2014 at 10:54 pm #

      Hey, that’s not a bad idea–obviously the world was settled by Kenyans if you think about it from a certain point of view…

      Like

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