Georgia will allow firearms in bars, because “guns and alcohol go great together”

25 Mar

ATLANTA–with overwhelming support from both parties, Gov. Nathan Deal today signed a bill that would allow firearms to be carried into bars, because “alcohol and guns are a winning combination.”

“I know when I’m in a bar and a bunch of drunks start getting rowdy, I always think ‘Gee, I’d feel a lot safer if those guys were armed,'” said Deal at the signing ceremony. “Finally, we can make that dream a reality.”

NRA head Wayne LaPierre was present at the ceremony and made a supportive statement in which he said, “If we let people get drunk and then drive home, we should also let them keep their guns.” An aide then whispered something in his ear, after which LaPierre said “Really? Are you sure?” He then turned back to the journalists. “Don’t write that last bit down.”

LaPierre did express concern that America might soon run out of new venues in which to permit guns. “I’m just going to toss some ideas out there,” he said. “Jail visiting rooms? Daycare? Open to anything, folks.”

Deal closed with a stirring explanation of his political philosophy, noting that “freedom and liberty are more important than theoretical concerns about safety.” After a pause, he added, “Unless you’re talking about women seeking abortions from doctors without hospital admitting privileges. That’s totally different.”

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4 Responses to “Georgia will allow firearms in bars, because “guns and alcohol go great together””

  1. alienredqueen March 25, 2014 at 6:50 pm #

    Don’t forget, guns don’t kill people, people kill people… and, uh, drunk drivers don’t kill people either… cars do. Cars kill people.

    Like

  2. alienredqueen March 25, 2014 at 6:50 pm #

    Or something. lol

    Like

  3. alienredqueen March 25, 2014 at 6:52 pm #

    Or drunk people in cars…with guns?

    Like

  4. twissblog March 27, 2014 at 1:27 pm #

    Wait, maybe it’s drunk cars with people who…hang on, never mind…

    Like

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