Paul Ryan releases hilarious April Fool’s budget

1 Apr

WASHINGTON—in a light-hearted distraction from the daily political grind, Rep. Paul Ryan (R—WI) played an April Fool’s Day prank on his Congressional colleagues, releasing a “budget” full of nonsensical economic assumptions and ludicrous spending priorities.

“I have to admit, Paul totally got me with this one,” said Rep. Steny Hoyer (D—MD), the House minority whip. “I could almost believe the sharp increases in military spending, the heavy use of unspecified ‘other cuts’—but then I got to the underlying growth projections and I just burst out laughing. Totally hilarious.”

Ryan used his joke budget to satirize his own image as a heartless ideologue, pretending to gut health care and even food stamps for lower-income Americans, spending the money instead on military equipment the Pentagon has repeatedly said it does not want. Then, poking fun at his own party, he implied that he still believed in the long-discredited Laffer curve, making the assumption that gutting government spending would lead to massive economic growth and higher tax revenues.

“Look, every once in a while we have to have some fun around here,” said Ryan. “I promise I’ll work on a budget that actually makes sense soon.”

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