Hard-hitting internal GM inquiry finds that top executives were “heroes”

6 Jun

DETROIT–a long-awaited inquiry into the deadly defective-switch problem at General Motors, commissioned by top executives at the company, was released today. The inquiry found that top executives “were more than blameless; they were heroes.”

The inquiry, presented in the form of a thirty-minute movie showing CEO Mary Barra climbing tall mountains and rescuing children from burning Chryslers, found that “no one specific person bore any blame for anything.” Instead, the report explains, all the defects were the result of a Labrador retriever named “Sparky” sitting on a keyboard and accidentally redesigning the ignition switch with insufficient torque.

The report, conducted by external law firm Jenner & Block, also found there were other “unsung heros” of the entire affair, including lawyers at external law firm Jenner & Block.

GM continued to take an aggressive legal stance on the many wrongful-death lawsuits it is facing, arguing in a court filing that several of the people killed due to the defective switch “are probably just faking.”

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