Obama promises Iraq intervention will be strictly limited to “bombing and fighting and, you know, whatever”

8 Aug

WASHINGTON–as President Obama ordered airstrikes in Iraq, he reassured a skeptical American public that he was not making an open-ended military commitment. Instead, he pledged that American intervention would be strictly limited in scope to “bombing, and maybe some fighting, and, you know, whatever sort of seems like a good idea at the time.” He also noted that he had put a non-negotiable time limit on military involvement, promising that it would last no longer than “a while, or until we win.”

The White House announcement immediately brought relief to worried citizens. “I was afraid this was the beginning of another quagmire,” said Tom Dallard of Sheboygan, WI. “But now I figure the worst case is a long, unproductive war.”

Republicans rallied behind the President, but their support came with warnings. “If we’re going into Iraq, we need to go in all the way,” said Sen. John McCain (R–AZ). “I expect that an invasion of Iraq will result in a lot of American soldiers being killed, so if we don’t invade, then we’ll be dishonoring their future sacrifice.”

Obama made a second announcement, hours later, in which he expressed confidence that the intervention in Iraq would be successful. “If history teaches us anything,” he said, “it’s that when we dabble in complex internal conflicts in faraway countries where we can’t really explain why we’re there, everything turns out just great.”

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