In a historic advance in American race relations, Obama pledges to do nothing and wait for Ferguson protests to go away

21 Aug

FERGUSON, Mo.—as protests continued in what many see as the worst racial tension in the US in over a decade, President Obama took advantage of the opportunity to take a historic step towards reconciliation, pledging to do nothing and just wait it out.

“At times like this, we are called upon to lead the nation forward,” said the President in a special prime-time television address. “

Instead of going to Ferguson himself, Obama vowed to send “an emissary with the stature to bring healing to this community.” After several phone calls, he settled on several contestants from Celebrity Big Brother, Matt Lauer’s younger brother, and Attorney General Eric Holder.

Meanwhile, in a conciliatory gesture, Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon imposed a curfew, declared martial law, and told protestors “I will mess you up good.”

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2 Responses to “In a historic advance in American race relations, Obama pledges to do nothing and wait for Ferguson protests to go away”

  1. PiedType August 21, 2014 at 5:54 pm #

    If only he’d pledge to do nothing in other areas.

    Like

  2. List of X August 21, 2014 at 11:33 pm #

    To be fair, Obama’s options were to either do nothing, or to take John McCain’s suggestion and bomb Ferguson.

    Like

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