NFL controversy deepens as Jacksonville Jaguars travel to Syria to fight for ISIS

13 Sep

NEW YORK–the NFL, already set by concerns over brain health and domestic violence, found its troubles growing today, as the entire roster of the Jacksonville Jaguars travelled to Syria this morning to fight for ISIS.

“Obviously, I’m as disappointed as anyone that the entire Jaguars organization has joined a murderous terrorist group,” said NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell. “With a heavy heart, I am going to suspend the players involved for the next two games.”

The motivations for the Jaguars for joining the civil war in Syria and Iraq were not entirely clear. QB Chad Henne posted a video on YouTube of himself burning his passport and pledging that he would fight until the entire Middle East was ruled by a new caliphate, “at which point we look forward to coming back and delivering some great Jaguars football for our fans.”

The NFL owners, as a sign of their grave displeasure, announced that they would cut Goodell’s pay this year to no more than a million billion zillion dollars.

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