St. Louis Rams deny that they were protesting Ferguson decision; claim they were just hitting women

ST. LOUIS–as controversy continued to swirl over the five members of the Rams who took the field Sunday with the “hands up, don’t shoot” gesture, a spokesman for the players explained that they were not protesting the recent Ferguson grand jury decision. Instead, he explained, they were just trying to hurt some women in the stands nearby.

“Look, these are good guys, and they know better than to break the rules,” said the spokesman from the players’ union. “They’ve assured me that they only raised their hands to punch some women that were giving them some attitude.”

Commissioner Roger Goodell, who criticized the original gesture, seemed mollified by the explanation. “As long as this was just a mixup, and they were actually trying to hurt women, and not get the NFL mixed up in politics, then of course it’s okay.”

The St. Louis Police Officers Association had criticized the players for raising their hands as they walked on the field. “It’s almost as if they’re suggesting that police officers would shoot a black person,” said a department spokesman.

A tense moment turned to relieved laughter when they knocked a woman unconscious.