Mitt Romney campaign pledges to learn from mistakes it made in 2012, like backing Mitt Romney

22 Jan

BOSTON–as Mitt Romney starts to prepare for a third presidential campaign, key advisors and senior staff members have said that they will learn from their critical mistakes in the 2008 and 2012 campaigns.

“So clearly, supporting Mitt was a bad call,” said John Hensling, a Republican pollster and Romney loyalist. “If there’s going to be a Romney 2016, we need to start by choosing someone way better to support.”

Romney agreed that he would have to think more carefully about the campaign’s choice of nominee. “I owe it to the country to give this a third shot,” he said in a casual interview shot inside his money bin. “The only problem, of course, is me.”

Democrats were openly worried at the prospect of a third Romney campaign. “The guy can raise more money than anyone else,” said Stuart Peachmuzzle, a senior advisor to Vice President Joe Biden. “If he launches a campaign, and then Romney 2016 supported someone that the American people don’t, you know, hate, then we could be in trouble.”

Hensling, the Republican pollster, was said to be canvassing ideas for a candidate that the Romney campaign could get behind. “I’ve made a shortlist of electable candidates,” he said to a reporter, trying to hide a cocktail napkin in his hand that had “Hillary Clinton” written on it in Sharpie.

2015/01/img_0081.jpg “We had the money, we had the ground game, we had the nice suit…we were only missing one thing…”

2 Responses to “Mitt Romney campaign pledges to learn from mistakes it made in 2012, like backing Mitt Romney”

  1. walker4long January 23, 2015 at 2:35 pm #

    That’s the trouble with the liberal press. Always nit-picking.


  2. Matt Damon 2016 January 27, 2015 at 9:59 pm #



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