Jeb Bush identifies as Hispanic on voter registration form; immediately deports self

7 Apr

TALLAHASSEE—Jeb Bush, who admitted yesterday that he had mistakenly identified himself as Hispanic on a 2009 voter-registration form, today announced that he was making good on his campaign platform and immediately deporting himself.

“Me refiero a lo que digo, y digo lo que quiero decir,” said Bush at a hastily called press conference in Matamoros, Mexico, where he unceremoniously dumped himself shortly after 6am this morning. “Tenemos demasiados los hispanos en los Estados Unidos ya , y yo vamos a hacer nada en mi poder para reducir su número.”

“Aunque me reservo el derecho de modificar mi posición después de la elección primaria,” he added.

Bush immediately gained six points in a Fox News/Tinfoil Hat poll of likely Republican primary voters.

“This is the kind of gutsy leadership we need,” said Bill O’Reilly later in the morning. “Here you have a guy who hasn’t had a job in eight years and who wants the federal government to fund his lifestyle going forward—deportation doesn’t get clearer than that. And extra points for having the guts to kick out a US citizen who has every legal right to be here.”

The scandal has also swept up fellow Republican Rand Paul, who apparently affirmed in a 2011 voter-registration form that he was of “sound mind” and able to exercise the vote responsibly.

Jeb Bush
“Por lo menos me acordé de votar ese año , a diferencia de 2008”

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One Response to “Jeb Bush identifies as Hispanic on voter registration form; immediately deports self”

  1. PiedType April 7, 2015 at 11:32 pm #

    Well, we can dream …

    Like

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