Americans about ready for baseball season to be over

15 Apr

NEW YORK—as early April stretches into mid-April, most Americans are now saying they’ve had about enough baseball for the year.

“I mean, I love spring training, Opening Day, all of that,” said David Landry, filing out of another Yankees loss this afternoon. “But it just seems like this season’s been going on forever. I’m about ready to be done, you know?”

“I’m just tired of seeing it everywhere—bars, the gym, in the kitchen at work—and I just figure we must be almost through with this,” said Tammira Philippe, who barely looked up as someone in a uniform hit a bloop single. “I just think however many games we’ve had—what is it, seven, eight? It’s too many.”

Major League Baseball Commissioner Rob Manfred responded to the comments with understanding, and said that baseball was looking into ways to keep the game interesting, such as not playing baseball as much.

broken bat
To make the game more interesting, players will have to use angled bats on weekends.

3 Responses to “Americans about ready for baseball season to be over”

  1. List of X April 15, 2015 at 12:39 pm #

    And maybe one out of every 20 balls would actually be a small pinata disguised as a baseball.


    • twissblog April 19, 2015 at 9:32 am #

      Far and away the best idea I’ve heard yet


  2. J.L. Pattison April 23, 2015 at 1:37 am #

    If football was boring it would be called baseball.
    Baseball . . . that boring intermission between football seasons.
    Baseball . . . helping insomniacs fall asleep for over 100 years.


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