New Hampshire diner patron pleads with Republican candidates to leave him alone

19 Apr

CONCORD, NH–Jeff Wilcox, a 54-year-old mechanic who likes to have breakfast at Ray’s Diner, issued a statement today asking Republican presidential candidates to “stop bothering me while I’m trying to have breakfast.”

“While I am flattered by all the attention, I ask each of you to respect my privacy during these next several months,” Wilcox’s statement read.

According to Wilcox, he can rarely get through his standard order of a cheese omelet and Ray’s famous bottomless mug of coffee without some GOP hopeful bounding over, asking him a polite “but totally insincere” question about his family, and then promising to change the way Washington works.

The diner’s owner, Ray Scoggins, agreed that GOP candidates were becoming a problem. He said he was working on a humane no-kill solution, constructing a fake diner across the street with sticky floors. “It’s strictly catch-and-release,” said Scoggins. “We set them free in their natural habitat, the green room at Fox.”

  

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