Maryland Governor reports experiencing very little racism at the hands of police officers

28 Apr

BALTIMORE—seeking to calm violent protests over the death of Freddie Gray, Maryland Governor Larry Hogan, Jr. (R) reported today that he had “almost never” experienced racism at the hands of the Baltimore police.

“I know that we’re all upset about what happened to Freddie,” said Hogan. “But we can’t put it down to racism. I’ve lived here all my life, and I don’t think I’ve experienced any of this so-called racist treatment at the hands of the police.”

Hogan went on to observe that “if anything, I’ve had the opposite experience—state troopers going out of their way to make me feel safe and comfortable—stopping traffic, clubbing people who get too close to my car, that sort of thing.”

Hogan went on to say that he thought Maryland would always be a place where citizens of all races could live the American Dream. “Everyone should have the opportunity I had of running for your father’s old congressional seat at age twenty-four,” he explained.

Hogan went on to announce new, more aggressive policing intended to tamp down the protests caused by aggressive policing.

Hogan: Police have always treated me with respect

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