Soccer world stunned as some FIFA employees not arrested in raid

27 May

ZURICH—a raid on a FIFA conference here today shocked the soccer world when word leaked out that many senior FIFA managers were not arrested on charges of bribery.

“Of course they took 14 people into custody,” said Geoff Blaine, a diehard soccer fan who was outside the hotel protesting. “But they’ve left dozens of them at large, free to strike again. What could the cops be thinking?”

Several FIFA executives assumed the inexplicable failure of the authorities to arrest them were clerical errors, and quickly went off the grid, scavenging food and electricity. Sepp Blatter was later spotted on a sidewalk in Dusseldorf, sleeping inside a shelter made of cardboard and money.

The arrests were made by the Swiss police at the behest of American authorities, who today unsealed indictments against the 14 detainees in a Brooklyn district court. The charges include taking bribes, giving bribes, wrapping bribes in festive holiday paper, carefully washing bribes on a gentle cycle, and showing bribes a night on the town to celebrate Annual Bribe Night at FIFA headquarters.

According to American authorities, they first became suspicious that the selection process for the 2018 and 2022 World Cups had been corrupted when they found members of the FIFA executive committee selling their votes on eBay.

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Blatter later proposed that the 2018 World Cup be replaced with a shadow-puppet competition

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One Response to “Soccer world stunned as some FIFA employees not arrested in raid”

  1. Corporate Life May 28, 2015 at 9:45 am #

    Read through some of your blog entries – quite funny and entertaining. Keep them coming. For some lighthearted musings on corporate life, please feel free to check out corporatlife101.wordpress.com. Cheers!

    Like

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