Jeb Bush shakes up campaign team after polls show him trailing behind eating bugs, Stalin

12 Jun


TALLAHASSEE—Jeb Bush shook up his campaign team earlier this week after a new series of polls showed that while he was comfortably ahead of Rick Santorum and Benito Mussolini, he continued to trail Scott Walker, Josef Stalin, eating bugs, and smoking.

While Bush also trails tooth decay, his team expressed optimism, noting that “we think we’ve got an angle on that fifth dentist.”

Sources: ABC/Washington Post poll (Republican nomination), Levada Center poll, 2012 (Stalin), CDC estimate, January 2015 (smokers), Trident gum commercial, 1956 (sugared gum), 2011 youth election (Mussolini), FAO report 2014 (eating bugs)

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