In historic shift, new Microsoft Windows upgrade will break your computer for free

29 Jul

REDMOND, Washington—in a radical change to Microsoft’s business model, the company today released Windows 10 as a free upgrade.

“Instead of charging you $99 or more to mess up your computer and have to roll back the installation, we’re now going to do it for free,” said a Microsoft spokesman. “You’re welcome.”
Windows 10 replaces Windows 7 and 8. It includes new features such as mysterious crashes of Internet Explorer, a confusing new way of organizing your files, and a sort-of-but-not-really tablet-style interface.

“It also loads significantly slower,” said the spokesman.

According to industry experts, the company had originally planned to release Windows 9 late last year, but changed its mind when the product tested poorly in focus groups, apparently because all it did was cause your computer to catch on fire.

fixedbyvonnie-windows-8-blue-screen-of-death-irq
Microsoft “put a lot more design thinking” into the look-and-feel of the Windows 10 blue screen of death

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3 Responses to “In historic shift, new Microsoft Windows upgrade will break your computer for free”

  1. thegreyeye July 29, 2015 at 1:24 pm #

    omg

    Like

  2. Corporate Life July 29, 2015 at 9:30 pm #

    Don’t forget the Microsoft slogan: Every bug is actually a feature!

    Like

    • twissblog July 30, 2015 at 10:08 am #

      I love the blue screen of death feature in particular!

      Like

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