In historic first, meaningless Saudi elections include women

14 Dec

RIYADH–in what has been billed a historic step forward, Saudi Arabia this weekend allowed women to participate in the country’s completely meaningless elections.

“For the first time in our country’s history, I’m pleased to announce that women will be able to cast the same useless votes as men, and even run for election to powerless rubber-stamp bodies,” said Ibrahim bin Alaheed, Saudi Minister for Women’s Rights and Janitorial Services. “No longer will men’s voices be the only ones we ignore.”

Across the kingdom, women enthusiastically took advantage of the opportunity to ignore the elections to local councils, choosing instead to stay indoors and watch television.

“Am I pleased? Absolutely,” said Kefaya al-Ashreef. “Before, when my husband and I would laugh cynically about the elections, it never felt equal. Now, when I call this a meaningless charade, it feels so much more meaningful.”

In addition to giving women the right to vote and run for election, the Saudi government has announced its plans to expand the rights of the democratically elected local councils, giving them the right to choose the themes for their end-of-the-year gender-segregated mixers, and also increased control over the plant budget.

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