Twissblog investigative report: some guy named “Gilmore” running for President

4 Jan

NEW YORK—after several months of deep investigative journalism, Twissblog today broke the news that some guy named “Jim Gilmore” is apparently a candidate for the Republican presidential nomination.

“This just goes to show that good old-fashioned reporting is alive and well,” said Llewellyn Davies, Deputy Head of Features at Twissblog. “Instead of rushing to make a deadline, our team methodically followed the clues and pieced together scraps of information, and this is where it got us.”

Information about the candidate, “Jim Gilmore,” remains incomplete.

“We know he’s a Republican,” said Davies. “He seems to be a man. We think he owns some blue suits and red ties. After that, it all gets a bit hazy.”

Gilmore’s existence came to the attention of Twissblog after a routine scan of federal filings turned up election paperwork in his name. Although most filings are jokes, or simply to create stories for grandchildren, “something about this one caught my eye,” said Senior Reporter Susan Krims.

“It wasn’t the fact that most of it was neatly typed,” said Krims, “or even that the filing fee was in an official money order—although that was a classy move. It was the fact that the paperwork listed an address that might have been some kind of office building, instead of this guy’s basement. It got me intrigued.”

Some pundits continue to doubt the existence of “Gilmore.” Said Charles Krauthammer, “I mean, where has this guy been? Who’s funding him? Why is the only photo of him a blurry black-and-white snapshot taken at a distance, in the woods?”

Twissblog, however, proudly stands behind its findings. “We are confident there is someone named Jim Gilmore running for president,” said Davies. “And we won’t rest until we find out who he is.”

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One Response to “Twissblog investigative report: some guy named “Gilmore” running for President”

  1. Corporate Life January 4, 2016 at 11:45 pm #

    We only need to wait for the next televised debate to see several new candidates like Gilmore.

    Like

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