EL AGUADITA, Sinaloa, Mexico–the race for the Republican presidential nomination took a surprising turn as international fugitive Gov. Chris Christie (R–NJ), currently polling fourth in New Hampshire, was captured by Mexican special forces only a few miles from the prison from which he made his daring escape last year.
“I’m proud to announce that the notorious fugitive, Governor ‘Chris’ Christie, has been captured,” said Mexico’s Attorney General. “He was unable to maintain a low profile, and instead had been seen a number of times around Sinaloa, as well as in several Republican debates.”
Christie’s recapture ends an embarrassing episode, in which he escaped from a press conference in New York City in July 2015, digging a tunnel beneath a lectern while reporters asked him questions about the George Washington Bridge scandal. Mexico’s armed forces repeatedly identified his location, but were unable to come up with the $2700-per-head minimum required to attend a fundraiser at which he could be apprehended.
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