NSA reports high levels of “incoherent political chatter” in Iowa; not sure what it means

20 Jan

AMES, Iowa–the NSA reported today that it was racing to decode and analyze “an unusually high level of incoherent political chatter” intercepted coming out of this small Iowa town yesterday from an elusive figure known only as “SP,” who has been linked in the past to extremist groups.

“Look, we still aren’t sure what exactly we’ve got here,” said an NSA spokesman. “At first glance, it is just a bunch of gibberish, but there are some patterns and phrases that may have more meaning. We’re still working on it.”

At the heart of the chatter from “SP” is a long diatribe about something “that seems to be related to politics, or terrorism, or maybe oil, or just sort of fighting, or something,” said the spokesman. “Like I said, this job is really hard.”

The chatter caught the NSA’s attention because of certain concerning phrases such as “suicide vest,” “neck stomping,” and several violent religiously-affiliated phrases. Analysts also were puzzled by what seems to be an endorsement of a “thousand-year Reich.”

“Look, we’ll figure this out, and we’ll take appropriate action,” said the NSA spokesman. “But it’s a tough one.”




A possible sighting of the elusive “SP.” 

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